English Diagonstic Series: The Curse of the Late Verb

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Once upon a time, I had the dreadful responsibility of helping lawyers improve their English writing by acting as their editor. (Editing legal writing is NOT pleasant.)

In this role, I quickly picked up on a sentence pattern that drives clients crazy and causes supervisors to question the quality of your English. You can find below: (i) a demonstration of the problem and (ii) a step-by-step fix for diagnosing and solving it.

The Problem

To understand the problem, please do the following exercise. Read through the below two versions of text and select the version that feels less native to you.

1a. A summary of the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same is set out below.

1b. We summarize below the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same.

If you are likely most lawyers, you probably chose the first version. Why? Because the first version begins with a delayed verb. (I’ve highlighted the first conjugated verbs below.)

1a. A summary of the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same is set out below.

1b. We summarize below the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same.

Readers tend to feel that English sentences are decidedly non-native when the first conjugated verb (i.e. the predicate verb) comes late in the sentence.

But, that’s not all the bad news. When you write sentences with late verbs, you are also producing text that readers find difficult to process (i.e. painful). And, this difficulty has serious consequences, including the following:

  • The reader needs to slow down his/her reading;

  • The reader needs to stop and reread your writing;

  • The reader stops reading and starts skimming your text for key words;

  • The readers stops interacting with your writing. (That’s a polite way of saying that he/she will close your writing in a pissed off, confused manner.)

The Solution

If you want to ensure that you are not writing painfully non-native sentences, here is what you do:

Step One: Find that verb

Underline the beginning of each sentence up to the first conjugated verb. (To save time, you can have AI do this for you.)

  • Example: A summary of the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same is set out below.

  • Note: If your underlining goes beyond one line, you definitely have a problematic sentence, which you should fix as follows:

Step Two: Find that action

Find the most important action in the sentence. It could be in a verb or hidden in a nominaliztion (i.e. a noun hiding an action).

  • Example: A summary of the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same is set out below.

Step Three: Actor/Recipient?

Ask yourself, who is doing the action or who is receiving the action? You are looking for a short answer to this question, typically an actor.

  • Actor of Summarizing: We

  • Recipient of Summarizing: The key changes

Step Four: Restart with Actor/Recipient + Action

Restart the sentence by placing the actor/recipient in the subject and the action in the verb. Copy and paste the rest of the text.

  • We summarize ….. (below the key changes to the assumptions made by [A] in its 2021 iterations of the Equity Model as compared to the assumptions made in its 2019 iteration of the Equity Model, and [EXPERT]’s response to the same).

Learn More

In our next diagnostic series article, you’ll learn about how your sentence beginnings might be making you look unconfident and weak.

And, if you would like further tips for improving your English writing, join us for our next Clear Legal Writing course.